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Exodus 32:35-33-6 is a jumbled mess. First, we’re told that God is going to plague the Israelites for worshiping the golden calf. Then, God rambles on and on about how he promised the Patriarchs land, how he freed the Israelites from Egypt, and all the genocide that he’s going to order on people already living in the Promised Land. However, the only plague that is mentioned seems to be having to listen to God drone on.

God again calls the Israelites a stiff-necked people and tells them that while his fire column will lead them to the Promised Land, he will not go with them. God explains to the Israelites that their shenanigans will no doubt make him destroy them all. Personally, I would say, “good riddance, I hope the door hits you on your way out,” but the Israelites get all depressed.

In fact, they get so depressed that they go into mourning and refuse to put on any flashy adornment. Then, God tell Moses to tell the Israelites that they are stiff-necked, and must take off their adornment lest he destroy them. Okay, that sounds remarkably like what was just said. So, the Israelites who are in mourning and not wearing any adornment, strip off the adornments they’re not wearing. Also, this part of Exodus calls the mountain by its earlier name, Horeb, rather than Sinai.

As you can see, we’re experiencing another duplicated story, which means we’re probably looking at a combination of two similar stories from two cultures. Duplicated stories are so common in the bible, that early textual critics even came up with a word for them, doublets.

You’ll also notice, reading the transition from chapter 32 to 33, an odd point of separation. Whomever numbered them wasn’t very good at his job.



Baughbe writes:


Forgets what his was doing,
Forgets what he just said,
Drones on and on,
Bizarre pronouncements and behaviors,
Wait, it makes perfect sense: God is stoned out of his gourd!

Sharkie writes:


Continuing on an earlier conversation about God fearing his creations.
There are billions of life forms on this planet, and humans make up a tiny precent of that amount of life. Yet, humans are the only living being God really cares about, basicly meaning God doesn't care about most of his Creations and enjoys watching them die for no reason.
Christians make up rather signicant percent of the human population.
But, the amount of humans that live up to the standards needed to get to heaven, as stated in the bible*, are a tiny percent of a percent of a tiny percent.
This basicly mean God only cares about way less then even 0.0001 percent of his living creations.
* The people that follow the bible to the letter are horrible hate filled people, usually wishing death on lots of people, for being different.

TroubleTrouble writes:


Either God is stoned out of his mind or he is suffering from alzheimer's. The symptoms are similar.

Samael writes:


I think you missed an opportunity for another comic here. What about Exodus 32:35?

"And the Lord struck the people with a plague because of what they did with the calf Aaron had made."

It even almost rhymes!

Samael writes:


Ah, you did address that in the blurb.

Sherni writes:


God needs a secretary, I think. As much as the Bible needs a proofreader.

Techs writes:


I tell people who believe in the END TIMES that the reason it hasn't occurred in the last 2,000 years is because there are not enough christians who meet the standards to go to heaven to fill the requirements of Revelations

Belg writes:


Ofcourse god can't come with them! remember he's a fu*king volcano! Volcanos just can't get up and move!

And Sharkie, your math is really off:
if you try to extract it from biomass values than God would care about raughly 0,000043 of biomass (used Wikipedia data, and supposed those people who clame to be Christian, not the ones that folow the byble to the letter), If you would try to count it from ammounts of individual live enteties this number would be soooooo much lower.

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Oh the irony!