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2012-03-23

In Exodus 28:6-14, God explains how his priests must wear some of the most expensive clothes imaginable. Not only is the ephod made from the finest linens dyed in the most expensive colors, but it has freaking gold woven into it! But itís not enough to wear clothes made out of mere gold, God also wants precious stones attached to the ephod with golden filigree.

Now the priests are looking sharp! If youíre familiar with the Jesus character in the gospels, youíll know that he was very disturbed by the corrupt priestly class, but isnít corruption kind of a given when youíre wearing clothes made out of freaking gold?

The only even remotely meaningful aspect of the gold clothes is that the onyx stones are expected to have the names of the 12 tribes engraved into them. But why onyx? Common basalt would be just as effective, and far more frugal.

Actually, this passage reminds me of an event that happened to me recently. I was at the mall clad in a Bad Religion shirt bearing the crossbuster. Suddenly, a man accosted me and demanded to know what my shirt was about. I explained that Bad Religion is a punk band to which he seemed less annoyed, but, in order to prove his piety, he showed me all of his jewelryógold rings and gold chains, each adorned with a cross. The only thing I could think of was, I wonder how many poor people you could feed if you were to sell those? But as this passage from the bible demonstrates, itís not about feeding the poor, itís about looking rich.

Speaking of Bad Religion, this weekend Iím going to see them tomorrow in Washington D.C., at Reason Rally. If anyone else is heading there, shout out. No new comics next week, as I'll still be basking in the awesomeness of Reason Rally.

 

Comments

Samael writes:

 

This along with all the other little benefits priests get (shares of the best meat, shekels in lieu of child sacrifice, etc) is just icing on the vile cake that is proof that religion existed solely to benefit the priesthood.

Baughbe writes:

 

Have fun at the rally. Represent!

Dixieland Delight writes:

 

In the comic, 'precious' is spelled wrong.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

@Dixieland Delight: Thanks for pointing that out. It turns out underlining misspelled words with red isn't very helpful on a red background!

Richard writes:

 

Are you going to wear a Quazar tee shirt at the Rally?

Maju writes:

 

Finally religion explained: it makes the priests sickly wealthy.

TroubleTrouble writes:

 

What about the vow of poverty that priests take when they are ordained? What a great scam!

Richard writes:

 

TroubleTrouble, see, there is a loophole here. You are giving all this stuff to god, not the priests. The priests don't actually own the riches they swim in. God does.

So, in today's terms, it would be like having a full service, gold plated Hilton as a homeless shelter, all clothing and food provided. And there is a dress code.

Dixieland Delight writes:

 

No problem! Keep up the good work. I read every day; I just don't comment.

Sharkie writes:

 

You know who I miss?
This site is fail, his blind sighted mass hate made this site so much better, what with the extra hate filled freak out to laugh at.

Baughbe writes:

 

Well Sharkie, when we all didn't fall to our knees at his(?) brilliant monosyllabic ramblings and pray to him(?) for forgiveness for our Pagan ways, he(?) lost interest.

Samael writes:

 

Try the atheist blogs at Patheos. They get plenty of preachers and decriers who've made it a personal mission to inform everyone just how wrong they are about God advocating slavery or the murder of children. The best ones don't actually deny that God ordered these things, only that we, in our merely human wisdom, are unable to see why such things were VITALLY NECESSARY to true morality.

Sharkie writes:

 

Thats right, God ordered massacres everyother Friday, not only because it made his poker night funner, but because he had important plans, that only the burning flesh of thousands could finish. Praise the all loving Lord, all his hate is for a reason, it all makes sense!

Samael writes:

 

To quote Religulous,

Priest: I know that [God] is so far beyond any of our ways, that He can work the worst situation for His good.
Bill Maher: What was the Holocaust? Why was that good?
Priest: You know, God has a plan for that, and maybe it's to cause--
Bill Maher: Really? I wonder if you'd have thought that if you were one of the people being pushed into an oven.
Priest: Well, you know what, it's like trying to explain to an ant how TV works. That's God's ways, they're so much higher than ours. There's no way you can understand.

So yes. Holocaust = Act of God = Good, moral thing that happened because God wanted it to. It frightens me that people like this no longer even demonstrate an ounce of cognitive dissonance. That suggests to me, ironically, that their morals are seriously lacking.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

I have to admit that a small amount of stupid religious ranting is a lot of fun.

Logic's knocking writes:

 

Bathed in holy fire you shall be for your transgressions! And I shall probably end up with you as well.

I just got finished reading through the entire archive and all the comments. Took me almost 2 weeks, but feel well more informed. Will continue reading and add my own input on occasion.

Let me just end by saying thank you TAG for putting so much time and dedication into this.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Damn, that's quite an undertaking! Most impressive.

Someguy writes:

 

the bible was always too boring to read in its entirety until i got it in single panel comic form... Thanks TAG

Richard writes:

 

So true, Someguy. I truly respect and pity TAG for doing all the heavy, tedious lifting and compressing all the idiocy into one amusing panel.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Thanks everyone! I'm still surprised there are so many people who are interested in going into this much detail about the bible. I mean, my comic is basically a bible study. The only difference between my bible study and your church's bible study is that I don't skip all the fucked up parts!

Baughbe writes:

 

Ah, but it's the fucked up parts that makes Bible class fun! Seriously, most churches go over maybe 120 to 150 passages from the book over the course of a year, then repeat. And some of those are intentionally misquoted or "creatively re-editted" to match the BS of the day. Getting the skinny on the parts left out gives good perspective, especially on those uber-religious who read the whole thing and still think it's legit.

Richard writes:

 

Totally. This should be the new children's bible...

Scratch that. Kids should not be given or read to from the bible. It is totally rated T for teen. If you think someone is not ready to hear "And then he raped her." and explain what raping is, then you should not be reading them anything from the bible.

Samael writes:

 

Are you kidding? Try reading Ezekiel (especially 23). I point it out whenever a Christian complains about sexual content in literature.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

New comics on Monday folks!

Laura writes:

 

Hope the comic is awesome like last time when you told us you were leaving the comic and doing real religion that scared me so bad I was like that's it I got to kill the president now and start a war.

Logic's knocking writes:

 

New month people! Go vote for TAG for top web comics! It's between the comic and his discussion! That blue thing! Yes that one! I will give you a cookie every time you vote! Maybe...


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Oh the irony!