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2010-07-30

So here's Rebekah's fool-proof plan. She covers her son in bloody goat skins, dresses him in his brother's clothes, gives him some goat meat, and pushes him into his father's tent. Brilliant!

In order for this plan to succeed, all that has to happen is, Isaac must:

  1. Not know what goat hair feels like.
  2. Not know what human skin feels like.
  3. Not be able to smell the difference between a human and a goat.
  4. Not differentiate Esau's voice from Jaboc's.
  5. Forget what goat tastes like.
  6. Forget what his favorite meat, venison, tastes like.

It's bound to work!

We've all read fairy tales and fables of blind people being easily fooled because of their disability. This only proves that those fairy tales were written by people who never met a blind person. While people who are blind may be lacking their vision, their other senses make up for this loss by becoming more attuned. This means that it would be even more difficult to trick Isaac with tactile, auditory, and gustatory sensations than a seeing person.

Not that it would matter much. How does Rebekah expect to make chevon taste like venison? Anyone who loves barbecue can tell you what kind of meat they're eating, even if they can't see it. Each meat has a distinct flavor, and what's more, each meat has a different texture. Even if Rebekah could somehow make goat taste like deer, it would still feel different to eat. Maybe a vegetarian who's been eating meat substitutes all their life would be fooled, but Isaac is a venison connoisseur.

It can be argued that Isaac was also succumbing to dementia in his old age, and that's why he was incapable of noticing this incredibly obvious ruse. However, the bible depicts him as being in full control of his mental faculties, so at best, that would be an assumption. And when you make an assumption, you make an ass outta you; and umption.

 

Comments

Ray writes:

 

What a loony. Also, is it me, or are the pools of blood in the sand making a face? That said, I feel like we're on an actual cliffhanger. It's Friday & he's about to go into the tent.

Will Isaac be fooled by this incredibly stupid plan?! Find out next week!! On THE. BLASPHEMER'S. BIIIIIBLLE!!!!

Baughbe writes:

 

Hmm... Ray may be right, that does look like a face. No Wait, Is It? Could It Be? Yes, another appearance! It's undeniably the face of Aristotle! We must pilgrimage to the holy site to see this vague representation! -Can you tell I've gotten tired of all those phony-baloney face on something appearances? When I see a face in my toast, I eat the toast and go back to bed because I obviously need more sleep.

Mr-know-it-all writes:

 

I have to say, when this plan started I thought he was planning on passing off as his brother, and make HIM fall from grace, by giving daddy the wrong type of meat. Which makes a bit more sense, actually. But, are they actually planning on making him be blessed? How is that going to work? "Oh, I bless thee, my son who is here right now, whose name I am not going to say because we all know who you are"?

Also, typo time!
The end of the first line of your rant says "her brother". So either Rebekah was actually Isaac's long-lost sister, or you made a mistake.
And your third point says "not to be unable". You must not avoid not using double negatives. Never.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

@Mr-know-it-all: Thanks for pointing out the typos. Fixed!

JFluffy writes:

 

TYPO: you also said Jaboc, n the bulet point about the voices.

JFluffy writes:

 

i also wrote 'n' not in and 'bulet' not bullet.
well that worked, and i didnt seem like a hypocrite at all.


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Oh the irony!